Sunday, September 30, 2012

Riddle Me This

So I made a vow to myself about a month ago that I would blog at least twice a week and by golly I'm not going to break that vow for anything, not even a 4 day long hospital stay (also on the not-exempt-from blogging list: attacked by wolverines and forced to hide in a ditch [because, I mean, what ditch doesn't have wi-fi these days?], had mouth torn off by crazed chimpanzee [don't need your mouth to blog], and received tragic haircut [an impossibility with the lovely Holly as my stylist and besides I can always wear a wig in my PhotoBooth photos])!'s Sunday night...and I still owe myself and y'all one more blog this week...and I'm tired...and I have to get up early

Cheat blog!

I thought I'd play that game in which I tell you three things about myself, one false, two true, and you have to guess which is the false one. Keep in mind I am a sad, twisted, and occasionally disgusting individual:

1. In college, I got peer-pressured into going to dinner at a sushi restaurant even though I hate sushi. After one too many slabs of raw fish and a couple of glasses of sake, I ended up throwing up at the table. The restaurant owner did not seem at all perturbed or surprised and calmly brought me a towel. I guess you sort of expect that kind of thing from time to time when you run an all-you-can-eat sushi buffet.

2. As a child, I kept a notebook in which I created a different imaginary family for myself each week complete with ages, occupations, features, and personalities. I then spent the rest of the week pretending to interact with them, and actually talked to them out loud when I thought no one was listening. No wonder I only had two friends.

3. I once went with Dylan to a work function held at an aquarium. There was an albino alligator there. His eyes followed me around the room the entire night and I was convinced he had it in for me. I kept grabbing Dylan's arm and whispering hysterically into his ear, "It wants to eat my soul!!!" while he tried desperately to maintain a professional manner as he talked to some of the most important scientists in his field. The two free drink tickets but non-existent promised buffet might have had something to do with my behavior...

Alrighty, so there you have it. I'll let y'all know the right answer in the next blog. 'Til then, Happy Riddling, dear readers!


  1. im guessing #2 is false. Because #1 sushi IS gross.
    and #3 alligators totally have soul eating eyes.

  2. I'm going to guess #1 is false. It happened, but to your roommate.

  3. I'm guessing number 2 is false, because sushi barfing? Who hasn't had that happen to them at least once. And albino alligators? Of course they want to eat your soul!

  4. I think I'm going to go with #1...if you really don't like sushi, you don't eat sushi. I think... hmmm...

  5. #1- you don't strike me as a table barfer.

  6. I'm going to go with #2 being false. #1 is too insane not to be true... Of course I suppose it could have been someone else's barfing story... But my money's on #2.