There's a Book for That Friday

New weekly blog feature! I know, I'm full of 'em lately. Anyway, this one was inspired yet again by my sister Grace, who works at a public library. She's always posting funny book covers on Facebook and after I saw the last one, I thought, "Man, there really is a book for everything!" and then, being the sinister idea-vulture lacking in original thought that I am, my next thought was, "Blog!"

I present to you lovely readers the inaugural installment of "There's a Book for That Friday"! You know those stupid "there's an app for that" commercials from a few years back? Books are the O.G. apps, yo. Ooh, my phone can tell me what the weather's going to be like! Yeah? Try an almanac, you hipster freak. Boom! Oh, look, my phone has restaurant reviews! Yeah? Guess what? They're all by the same losers who are clogging your Facebook feed with fart jokes. Try the Zagat guide, son. Boom!

Now, picture this: you're home alone with your dear cat Mr. Whiskers on a drizzly Friday evening. You've just shared an enormous plate of chicken chow mein and are feeling a bit guilty about it. Running your hand anxiously over your growing double chin, you walk to the door to put on your running shoes so you can go for a jog to atone for your fatty, fatty sins. Oh, but wait! It's raining! Also, Mr. Whiskers would get lonely if you went for a run without him. What to do?

There's a book for that.

Disclaimer: Awesome checkered shorts sold separately

That's right! Despair not, fatty catlovers! Now you can feel the burn without leaving your precious feline friend behind! Also, it's so clearly totally fun for the cat, too.

See? Look how happy that cat is.

I confess I am sorely tempted to buy this book and try it out with one of my cats. However, I suspect the only burn I'd be feeling would be from the empty eye socket that once housed the eye my cat scratched out in an indignant rage. Seriously, did she feed Fluffy some crushed-up Xanax before attempting this shot?

Well, if any of you gentle readers are bolder than I and manage to get your hands on this book and a cat, please, please, PLEASE send me pictures! Also, full credit goes to Grace for these pictures. Thanks for letting me steal from your life. I promise to find my own funny books...eventually...